I am so happy you've found me!
From as far back as I can remember, I knew that my soul was meant to connect deeply with the people, places and nature around me. For so long, this was my purpose and direction. I can't recall exactly when it happened, but there was a shift that slowly began guiding me in a different direction. Life began to creep up on me faster than I was able to learn who I was and what I wanted.
In order to meet the demands of my growing responsibilities, I began jumping into jobs, relationships, & decisions that were very far from what kept me centered and connected to my purpose.
I always said that my biggest fear would be when my life resembled that of complacency, when purpose was nowhere to be found. I once imagined this to look like, well, to look like nothing. Drive, ambition, motivation, direction & worth would be nonexistent. This life would be similar to a very unpleasant groundhog's day, simply going through the same mundane responsibilities lacking any hint of emotion or connection to any of it, or anyone. Those loving friendships and the once romantic relationship would have lost all excitement, experience and growth. The worst part about all of this would be that the owner of this life saw nothing wrong with any of it.
I woke up one day and realized I was living my biggest fear. How did I get here? How long had I been asleep?
After years of unknowingly getting further and further from myself, I was lost. Not only was I unhappy with all aspects of what my life had become, but I couldn't remember what it was I even wanted. My soul was suffocating from a decade of bad habits, little respect for myself and poor choices. I had hit my bottom.
I am so grateful for every one of my experiences that led me to my moment of surrender.
At the beginning of my bottom, all but one dim flame had disappeared from my soul. This tiny spark held in it the last piece of hope still remaining which was able to cast light on all the areas I spent so much time avoiding. What I was avoiding was my pain. The uncovering of this pain was the key to myself, to my purpose, to my soul. This process has been painful, magical and rewarding all at once. Since my transformation began, I have experienced more life than I ever knew was possible.
It didn't matter how many self-help books I read, who I talked to, what my job was, who I was dating or what I took to fill my voids.
None of it helped me until I really took a look at myself, my behavior, my past and a lifetime of choices.
Many of my choices before waking up resulted in debt, extremely low credit score, poor relationship choices, moving around the country, constant indecision about EVERYTHING, excessive alcohol consumption to fill unknown voids, lack of interest in all areas and isolation.
On top of all of this, my anxiety became so intense that I often missed work and was in and out of the hospital with an MRI on the horizon.
I stopped making excuses, I stopped blaming anyone else and I began walking through my fears one by one.
I learned that the anticipation of walking through a fear is always worse than actually doing it. Aspects of myself that I was terrified to face actually brought with them wisdom that would have been impossible to find elsewhere. With this, I gained awareness, I found relief and I began to wake up again.
I needed every tear, every misguided decision, every ache of my heart and each sleepless night.
No other path was ever an option for me, except my own. And, although I was offtrack for much longer than I would have preferred, I needed my experience to be exactly what it was in order for me to be where I am today. My life is one amazing place to be.
Today, I live a life that is authentic to my soul.
I spend my time involved with activities and hobbies that fill me up from the inside.
I am financially independent and extremely responsible with money. I have learned how to remove the anxiety and fear from my life naturally, without medicine or substance of any kind.
My behavior with others mirrors the behavior I have with myself, expressed through love, respect and joy.
I am surrounded by people I love deeply, who love me just as much.
We share healthy communication, encourage one another to be our best selves, and support each other through every tear, every giggle and every moment in between.
I know that many of you reading this can relate to what I'm saying.
I have spent years feeling exactly what you feel right now! No matter what your situation is, YOU have everything you need to live a life filled with joy, desires and love.
You simply have to lead with willingness and courage and just take that next step.
Where you're at and what you are feeling, or rather, not feeling anymore, is a part of the world we live in today. And although it is common, you do not have to settle for a life of complacency.
Everything you have ever wanted is on the other side of the door eagerly waiting for you to open it!
This is my story. My story is my strength and my strength is what gave me back my life.
My life is dedicated to sharing my experience with others who are much like myself.
Women who know they are meant for so much more, a life filled with joy, laughter, love and growth.
I am here to support you in your spiritual journey of recognizing what is holding you back, navigating through these fears, remembering what it is you've always wanted and embracing who you really are.