I love my life. I don’t love every part of everything in my life but I do love parts of everything. Yet, I often find myself uncomfortably restless in all parts of my life. I identify these feelings with my wanderlusting gypsy soul, only tamed by spending my weekends exploring cities while I build my business and the ability to work solely for myself while traveling the world.
I know this fidgety feeling has everything to do with my energy. As someone who is intuitive, spiritual, and actively aware of what my thoughts & energy are attracting, this restless feeling can be incredibly challenging.
When my energy feels fidgety, I work my thoughts back to the last moment that I remember being in the flow of the good juice, that pink cloud universal energy. Sometimes I can remember if there was a slight shift, moving me from peaceful to restless, but most times I can’t. When this happens, I just remind myself that the agitated feeling is a part of my human experience.
But the other night I got to thinking. I asked myself if I remembered a time when I felt 100% happy about where I was. A time when I wasn’t daydreaming about the next country I would visit or the city I preferred to be in.
The memory came to me immediately. It was spring time in Paris. I was alone in our Air B&B in the 10th arrondissement and had just come back from the cafe around the corner. I was sipping my favorite cafe creme, as I sat in the kitchen basking in the breeze that was coming through the big open Parisian windows. The croissants were still warm and so indescribably perfect. So perfect in fact, that I ate all three.
I had my computer out to begin writing. I had never felt as creative as I did in this moment. The sweet hum of a beautiful Parisian voice was playing in the back ground, paired with the laughter of children skipping along the river below.
The trees outside were in full bloom, sharing their beautiful buds with anyone who paid attention and the smell of the new flowers gave me a memory so familiar that I had to close my eyes. Their scent was the same one that intoxicated me over twenty years before as a little girl, bringing me to a place more nostalgic than any I had ever known.
In all my life, I've never felt more at home.
There was nothing about this that I would have changed. There was no place I would have rather been. This is the only time in my life that I can remember feeling so profoundly peaceful and content with absolutely everything.
This Parisian experience gave me a taste of truly being in the flow of my energy and aligned with my soul. This feeling is what it’s all about. My restlessness comes from chasing the feeling this moment created in all the wrong places.
But I know now what it is I want and what it is I need to do. Once again, the magic of pen & paper brings me the clarity I’ve needed . And this beautiful Sunday afternoon in Paris has given me everything I need to know.