It says a lot about you when you hold the door open for another person. It’s thoughtful of you and that simple moment of connection between you and said person can really tap you into those feel-good vibes.
Often times though, the other person doesn’t even acknowledge you, let alone say thank you. This leaves many people feeling dismissed and even resentful.
Personal integrity is behaving in a way that is authentic and truthful to you, regardless if anyone sees you or acknowledges you. Personal integrity is holding the door open for others without expectation of anything in return.
When we look at this as an observer, rather than, dare I say- a victim, perspective changes.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are here to evolve and have a deeper understanding of our souls. This simple situation is an opportunity for us to let go of expectations of others, let go of resentment, and deflate our egos a little. No one owes us thanks.
It doesn’t matter if a particular person ever thanks you. This has nothing to do with you, unless you take it personally, therefore making it about you.
Looking at this situation as an observer you can see that the non-thankers have their own lessons to focus on in this situation. Maybe they simply aren’t aware of their behavior, perhaps they are extremely upset and having a hard time connecting with others, or perhaps they see no reason to say it. But this isn’t your business or your responsibility. Let go of any attachments to them, including analyzing their lesson.
Feeling entitled to your expectations and frustrations toward the other person blocks you from your own growth and essentially cancels out your good deed.
Looking at this situation as an observer, you can see that the door holder, most likely you, has an opportunity to do the right thing and totally detach yourself from anyone else who is a part of this. You are only responsible for you.
The most pure and kind behavior in this situation is choosing to hold the door because that’s who you are. It is choosing to behave with integrity with zero expectation of acknowledgement or validation from anyone else. Your validation should come from yourself and the simple fact that you behaved in a noble way. Period.
Every situation in your life is an opportunity for you to evolve. We are constantly given opportunities to learn lessons. If you are always frustrated that someone isn’t saying thank you when you hold the door for them, you will encounter more and more people who aren’t saying thank you. The reason for this is that your lesson has nothing to do with them. It is an opportunity for you to let go of your expectations and understand your part and your opportunity to change your behavior. Don’t miss out on your moments to evolve, or you’ll find yourself running in circles.
So today, go out there and do some noble acts. Don’t tell anyone about them. Observe when you want the thanks or want to tell others about your good deeds. This awareness is the first step. Maybe your frustration is a little shorter than the time before and you tell a few less people about how great you are. Next time, the time gets even shorter and the people even less. Evolving isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. And you my friend, are doing a great job evolving.